The Final Awakening (An Introduction)

“Life is but a passing dream… Only death that follows it is eternal.”
–Seymour (Final Fantasy X)

Death…
The final awakening of the soul…
The only point in time where you would know the true purpose of your existence… by being in the line between life and death…

Piece by piece, I watch as each fragment fall to the ground, slowly but certain. I could not figure out who it is but it was definite that he can no longer withstand the age of suffering and pain he had experienced all these times… I am witnessing a demise of a creation… The return of an opus to where it came from-dust. But this one was no ordinary end… This was wretched and painful, unlike those that depart with serenity painted in their faces. I myself could not think of any appropriate word to describe his pitiable condition. He’s ruined, tattered, dilapidated and literally falling to a thousand pieces. Nevertheless, I want to see what he conceals… I want to know what is behind that decrepit cover… I desire to understand the pages of his life… To comprehend the runes that make up his whole being.

In a blink of an eye, I was facing a mirror. However, I was not staring at myself; instead, I was watching what I perceived to be the life of a masterpiece. Yes, just like every creation, he was also born into this world as an innocent offspring. As he grew up, it seemed that the world was weaving a colorful pattern around him. It was almost a perfect life, he gets what he wants without asking too much and he gives love and receives twice as much as he has given; he even thought that life won’t have any problems at all. He believed that life was only a playground where fun would always reign. His life was filled with pleasure just like everybody’s desire… everybody’s dream…

It was then while staring at solitude that life stopped weaving a colorful quilt around him. Another soul was born from his own. His calm ocean turned into a frantic realm of questions, doubt and hesitation. Confusion became the center of his spirit… He started searching for answers to feed his starving mind… He became doubtful of all things, questioning everything surrounding him… He hesitated to trust, to love, and to live… Darkness became the refuge of his being while on the journey of finding satisfaction… Shadows acted as the sanctuary of his thoughts, feelings and questions he knew no one could understand but himself. He concealed everything about himself, thinking that people would only regard him weak if he let out his persona be known. He searched for oblivion, knowing that it is the only way to forget all the agony in his psyche…

At times, he would ask himself, “Why am I here? What am I doing here when I do not belong with them?” But the answer would still be the same-silence. There have been many times when he wanted to give up and run away from the arduous journey he had long been walking… He had longed for the light that he abandoned long ago… To run back to the arms of bliss that once embraced his soul… Yet, he always found himself running after his purpose which he believes will give him contentment… “There’s no turning back once you have decided which path to take and what decision to make.” And that he kept on his mind until the day when all should come to an end.

It was a bright afternoon, all seemed to be happy and gay except for one soul that was burning in a blazing fire. Deeply immersed in his thoughts, he asked himself the last question, “When would I find the true purpose of my existence? When would I finally wake from this dream?”… And with that, he dropped to the floor, cold and benumbed. At that very moment, I finally saw who it was… It was then that I only realized I was looking at my own life. Then I woke up.

“Death—the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening.”
–Sir Walter Scott